Darwin Buffalo Dingoes

’ÄúBARNEY NOONAN’Äù: Great hands and a  huge jumper.  Was ordered especially for this laddie. In the record books for Brontosaurus steak eating. Has a super power involving baked beans and safety zones.  Solid backman who runs all day.

’ÄúBOB HARGREAVES’Äù  Small in stature,  big in mouth and heart. Runs on the smell of cigarettes coffee and beer. Probably would have won the shuttle run if we had one. Impact player off the bench. Sings like Bonnie Tyler.

BRUCE SCHWARZE Slim in build loud in actions. A key to the Dingo game plan and can actually play. Probably  some mistake there. Get plastered with Bruce. I know I did. Knows his way around a mobile too and will help team mates.

CHRIS LYNDON: Our go to man. Pace, perseverance and an impressive leap are just some of the attributes he wishes he had. Loves a run down the wing. A late starter for this trip, but we are lucky and pleased to have him aboard.

JOHNNY SCHIER: A true legend, you know like Santa Claus. Once known as ’ÄúSpoof’Äù, but re-invented, Ah La Prince, as ’ÄúThe Player Formerly Known as Spoof’Äù. Fast elusive and can break a tackle.  A good man in your corner and loves a goal.

CRAIG GUERIN:  Large in stature and mouth.  Can bend steel with his bare hands.  Loves to play footy and with himself. Very effective backman. Just sort of stands there and gets in the way. Avoid at nightclubs if possible!!

SHANE COLEMAN: Looks like Ned Kelly but not nearly as nice. Don’Äôt let the quiet demeanour fool you.  Big in beard, fast in motion. Good in the centre but a little ragged round the edges. Can be fun on fishing trips, and shares his bed.

KYM COWANS: An absolute legend and an ornament to the game. Has all the skills. I just wish he’Äôd wash his shirt sometimes. Takes a hanger virtually every game. A devil on a dance floor. Always has a jerry can about his person.

STEVEN (Willy) WILLIAMS Small in stature but big on cuddles. Caution: Avoid if drunk.  Very handy around packs. A ball magnet on the field and has a cute Bum. (apparantly) Likes a party and sleeps in all sorts of interesting places.

MARK CHRISTIE: Has form as an umpire so still developing trust among some of the Dingoes. Was part of a very disturbing incident at training camp, but that stays in camp. Great hands, dazzling sidestep, piercing pass. Developing junior.

HARRY CRAGGS: NB, not his real name, but you can call him Sarge. A man to be reckoned with. So I’Äôll reckon he’Äôs OK, Box packer and has changed breeds from a Bulldog. Good hands, a rock in defence and a handy all round player.

PETER HAZELHOFF: Squirrel boy to some.  Another who has had the operation from Bulldog.  Rowed a long boat in a former life. Fast, evasive, long flowing locks, massive kick etc, etc. (This info was provided by Peter)

MIKE BRATCHELL: One of only 74 men in Australia, over 35, who still have a mullet. I’Äôm probably jeolous he’Äôs got hair.  Great rebounding backman and long kick. But watch for the long hand pass. I have to, so why shouldn’Äôt you.

RAY HAYES: Hazy to one and all. Our lead in guy and was here early to ensure that everything is properly organised. An early picture show man. Quite the blade as a younger man. Hard to see it now. Very handy player. Helping Varkos out.

PETER BOWDEN: The original point 3. Very skillfull ball player. I’Äôve heard he is not too bad at footy either. Fast, deceptively powerful, and a leap to die for. A player you will need to watch. Just popped in for the day though.

VAKOS LOTSARIS: A man of bling, but a troubled kiddie. Looks to leadership group for advice. Got the lot, young, handsome, fast, available. Handy forward. Plans a big sleep before the game so he will be cherry ripe. Will get a bagful.

MICK (ROO BOY) COREY. Is related (by IQ) to that young chappie from Big
Brother. Has a super power and can escape from straight jackets. Principal role here as advisor. Impact player from bench. Used to be excellent overhead mark.

GREG SMITH: International man of mystery. Another involved in the unmentioned incident which probably didn’Äôt happen. Very useful player. Can run all day. Has a bet with Varkos to get the most goals. Needs to be watched near any road.

JASON COCKATOO: Been training secretly out bush. Can run, jump, clap his hands. Pretty well has all the skills. Will bring his own tape, so should stick together OK for the day. Expecting huge things from this Kiddie.

ROSS MCGORMAN: Been planning this trip for 3 years. In charge of the fashion Police, so please pay attention. Been on a strict training regime to make this trip. Runs fast, jumps high, and kicks long. Well that’Äôs the trifecta right there.